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Post by katie on Mar 13, 2017 11:31:55 GMT
Has anyone experienced this? I am kind of nervous about it. I love my parish and the other one is a bit too high energy. We will have 1 pastor.
I don't know what to expect.
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Post by pianistclare on Mar 13, 2017 12:47:29 GMT
Irishmomma has a bunch of experience with this.
Lemme go get her......
It doesn't happen down here.
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Post by Irishmom on Mar 13, 2017 12:55:11 GMT
Our parish merged several years ago, 4 became one. All churches kept their names, but we got a new parish name. One pastor for all, one office.
What at happened was that the mass schedule changed. 3 of the 4 still had Sunday mass, or Saturday evening. My parish got neither. It caused a lot of heartache and anger for a great many people. Some people stopped attending mass because they felt they no longer fit in. Other attended but no longer contribute in the collections.
Our church was was named a shrine, and has daily weekday mass twice a day. Since I started attending there, it made going to Sunday mass a lot easier to get thru. Every parish as you mention, has a personality. For the most part, those personalities are maintained.
Just yesterday at mass, our priest said he visited his home parish and was told it would actually be closing completely. He went on to explain that he felt bad, it was where he received all of the sacraments as a child, and where he first heard God speak to him about the priesthood, and where he said his first mass. But then, he explained further that the building itself, beautiful as it is, is not the church. I think what he said about that could possibly have been a healing moment for some people. He is a wonderful young priest that has really invigorated our parish.
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Post by Irishmom on Mar 13, 2017 12:55:47 GMT
Irishmomma has a bunch of experience with this. Lemme go get her...... It doesn't happen down here. Ha! I was typing it as you posted! |
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Post by pianistclare on Mar 13, 2017 13:12:30 GMT
I like what your priest said. Personally, I feel there is way too much made about "that other parish" and "those other people" around here, anyway.
There seems to build up a rivalry of sorts....almost like teams....One parish gets labels as old and old fashioned, another as modern and liberal, another as not with it musically, another as too busy, etc.
That's why I tend to laugh when people say that the Church is universal and the Mass is the same everywhere. In theory, sure. But people make a huge deal about what the servers do and don't do at their home parish, how the priest does this or that, how the hosts taste.....(no kidding), what sort of wine they use.....
At the end of the day I often wonder where people's priorities are. I get that some folks like to be comfy....but we have to remember the prayer. It really IS the same prayer.
It's kind of like when a kid goes to a new school. All kinds of worry.
I hope it will not be too traumatic for you Katie. You have a deep faith, and I'm sure you and your family will fit in, and be made welcome no matter the outcome of the merge.
OFr example, my husband prefers the smaller in size but way huger parish down the road...because the Mass is prayed much like it is in Ireland. By the book.
I prefer our current parish where I work, because it is fairly sparse, Beautiful appointments, but not a lot of them. Lots of clear windows, you can see the woods out each one of them. Nothing too respentational. The Crucifix is pure white. Some people think it's sterile. Others, find the other parish gaudy.
Each to his own. But HE is still present in both, and working in the people at both places. That's the thing to remember.
God is not hindered by our preferences for wine or architecture, LOL/
God bless you!
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Post by Irishmom on Mar 13, 2017 13:38:49 GMT
Well I think that is the point Clare. It is the same, and it isn't. But that is why it was nice to have choices. People can find the building, the music or "personality" that fits them. And then, yes, the mass is the same everywhere, as you say. It does matter. If we are honest, we have all been to mass, maybe in our travels, or maybe in a nearby community, where mass was just so special and moving and complete. And other times, not so much.
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Post by pianistclare on Mar 13, 2017 13:53:39 GMT
Yeah, but nothing is worth leaving the CHurch because you don't think it's the same as your cozy spot.
In these cases there is zero anyone can do about it.
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Post by pianistclare on Mar 13, 2017 13:54:10 GMT
The parish I want to work in is the ugliest church ever. But the people and the priest make it special.
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Post by Irishmom on Mar 13, 2017 14:06:47 GMT
Yeah, but nothing is worth leaving the CHurch because you don't think it's the same as your cozy spot. In these cases there is zero anyone can do about it. Well the zero the church could have done and still could do, is put back a Sunday mass. People were so hurt by our not having a Sunday mass while another church had 2. It really didn't make any sense. Still doesn't. And people were frustrated that no one was listening to what they felt. They sent someone down from the archdiocese to listen to everyone's complaints. The church was packed and it went on for a long time. People were really bothered by a deacon that smirked and laughed openly about people's feelings and comments through the whole meeting. Not very charitable... |
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Post by pianistclare on Mar 13, 2017 14:28:35 GMT
Yeah, that's BAD.......
And yet...I'll bet they're still sending people envelopes...
!!!!!!
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Post by katie on Mar 13, 2017 14:46:43 GMT
Thank you guys..The high energy church is a parish we belonged to years ago, and we changed parishes when we moved a bit south...It is nice, but not as nice as where we go now. I found it hard to focus there, as it's extremely social.
The parish we belong to now is more old school (not trad) and quiet and the parishioners are mellow.
They said they are merging ministries too, and we'll have 1 pastor. That decision is coming later.
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Post by pianistclare on Mar 13, 2017 15:20:12 GMT
It will be interesting to see how he can maintain the "spirit" of each parish...;or if they try too. Sometimes the big church can swallow up the smaller one.
Maybe he can keep a balance by offering different Masses...meaning, a more mellow Mass at a certain time, and a more lively, kid friendly Mass at another.
Our 830 AM Mass is an older crowd and PSR families......the 11 AM Mass is a zoo. EEK!
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Post by katie on Mar 13, 2017 16:55:14 GMT
It will be interesting to see how he can maintain the "spirit" of each parish...;or if they try too. Sometimes the big church can swallow up the smaller one. Maybe he can keep a balance by offering different Masses...meaning, a more mellow Mass at a certain time, and a more lively, kid friendly Mass at another. Our 830 AM Mass is an older crowd and PSR families......the 11 AM Mass is a zoo. EEK! Yes. I hope it's a positive merge and they make our current pastor the main one. The other pastor is kind and gentle, but does not have the depth that our current one has. |
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Post by Irishmom on Mar 13, 2017 19:31:53 GMT
Yeah, that's BAD....... And yet...I'll bet they're still sending people envelopes... !!!!!! I know they are. My friends father, who was in that parish his entire life only contributes toward the upkeep of the shrine through the envelopes, or the school, things like that, but not the regular Sunday collection. |
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oneofthewomen
New Member
I am a "Fruit Loop" in a bowl of "Cheerios"!
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Post by oneofthewomen on Mar 22, 2017 13:10:05 GMT
I have a lot of experience with mergers.
I was on a committee in my old parish that was looking at what a "merger" would look like, etc.
I witnessed the merger of our Cathedral with 2 inner-city, ethnic parishes.
In all cases, there were lots of hurt feelings, anger, and animosity.
It has been 7 and 10 years, respectively, since the mergers, and while there has been some unity, there still is a lot of mistrust.
If I had been in charge, I would have done things MUCH DIFFERENTLY!!!
The Church, sadly, is not a great communicator. We were told time & time again that our concerns and traditions would not be pushed aside,
yet that is exactly what happened, all in the name of "unity". Unfortunatley, that "unity" was decided upon by people working in the Church with their own agendas and not the will of the people.
I had just returned to the Church when this was all going on. It was a true test of my faith because what I had to learn was to separate what the "Church" was doing, from what people who "work for" the Church are doing. And people being, well people, crappy things happen.
I don't say any of this to give you anxiety, just to give you information.
I saw and heard things during this time that I had not seen in the corporate world. People do not understand that the Church has to follow labor/civil laws pertaining to employment, liability, etc. It is like running a business, especially if you live in a place like NYS where we are regulated to death. And it has to balance the spiritual and emotional needs of its members at the same time.
I don't envy the Church in my area. Times are tough and many people are leaving. At one time, there were 7 parishes within a 3-mile radius of my house, that had overflowing schools, 7 Masses on Sunday and a vibrant community. Sadly, those days are gone, and there is 2, and we need to figure out how best to utilize our resources.
My best advice is to be involved. Listen to what others are saying. Help to be the cohesive presence, but also stand up for what you believe to be right. Look past agendas and ask lots of questions. This kind of change is really difficult for some, and the one thing I learned is that must be honored. We can't just go, "oh, things change". For some people, losing their church building is like losing a family member. We cannot dismiss those feelings. We need to help people work through them and mourn their losses. It is a process that cannot and should not be rushed.
Again, I don't want to scare you or cause you any anxiety, I just want you to be prepared.
Praying for you and your parish during this time of transition.
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