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Post by tth1 on Jan 21, 2024 14:25:54 GMT
This issue with hospital chaplains is one that's becoming a problem here in parts of the UK. As the older wave of Irish and Italian migrants die of and the number of priests shrink the chaplains often tend to be from evangelical groups and they are often less than knowledgeable about other faiths. They tend to not recognize that Anglican and Catholic and Eastern Orthodox are not just variations of each other. I think it's becoming a significant problem. No longer can the chaplain just visit. The patient must inform the ward staff they are Catholic and want the hospital's Catholic chaplain to visit. I've no personal experience so I don't know if the request can be verbal or if a form has to be completed. If the latter were a requirement it wouldn't surprise me. Bureaucracies do love their forms. I understand that your parish priest can't visit you as a priest but only as a general visitor. I believe you have to use the hospital's designated Catholic chaplain. |
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Post by homeschooldad on Jan 21, 2024 15:59:56 GMT
This issue with hospital chaplains is one that's becoming a problem here in parts of the UK. As the older wave of Irish and Italian migrants die of and the number of priests shrink the chaplains often tend to be from evangelical groups and they are often less than knowledgeable about other faiths. They tend to not recognize that Anglican and Catholic and Eastern Orthodox are not just variations of each other. I think it's becoming a significant problem. No longer can the chaplain just visit. The patient must inform the ward staff they are Catholic and want the hospital's Catholic chaplain to visit. I've no personal experience so I don't know if the request can be verbal or if a form has to be completed. If the latter were a requirement it wouldn't surprise me. Bureaucracies do love their forms. I understand that your parish priest can't visit you as a priest but only as a general visitor. I believe you have to use the hospital's designated Catholic chaplain. We ran into a similar situation when my mother was in hospital, we had to go out to the next county, mostly rural, which is basically run by the Freemasons, many people out there are absolutely clueless about Catholicism. There was no problem getting our TLM priest there, but I had to make the contacts myself. There were no forms to fill out. Once you migrate over to hospice, there are no more hospitals, no more emergency rooms. They discontinued one of my mother's blood thinner medications (Eliquis), in that it is very expensive (beginning-of-year copay and hospice doesn't cover it) and supposedly aspirin is 95% as effective as Eliquis is. My mother has been up this morning and had a light breakfast (pudding, toast, potato pancake, Jell-O, coffee) and has gone back to sleep. She had her morning medications and her pain pill. |
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Post by homeschooldad on Jan 28, 2024 3:20:08 GMT
Update @ of Saturday 27 January 10 pm EST:
My mother seems to have entered the final phase, and the hospice nurse tells me it could be a matter of days, even hours. My mother is no longer able to take nutrition by mouth (anything else, given her fragile state, would be extraordinary means), and her systems seem to be shutting down. Medications, aside from liquid painkiller if needed, have been discontinued because she could aspirate them, which would be a horrible way to die --- there's no more benefit to be had from them. She has been talking some, heavily labored and garbled speech, we are basically saying our final goodbyes (but it's a drawn-out thing, like Midwestern relatives in the driveway at the end of the evening). It is not a sad time. I am playing a loop of the 23rd Psalm from YouTube (the 8-hour one with the little lamb sleeping on the grass), which my mother seems to find comforting, she loves that psalm. She is ending her life fully reconciled to the Church, received Extreme Unction in the traditional Latin rite, and in more lucid times I taught her about the Apostolic Pardon in non-theological language she could understand. So it's all good.
Please pray for my son as well. He's not having a easy time of it at all, for reasons both connected with, and unconnected with, his beloved Grandma. Aside from credit I give him for self-directed reading of his choosing (one English class credit a week), and any essays he may be writing (he loves to write, can't imagine where he gets that from), homeschool is on hiatus for a few days. I may try to get him out of town for two or three days after this is all over, like we did with Grandpa, though it'll have to be someplace with an indoor pool, due to the weather.
We'll be fine. I'll keep everyone posted. Thanks for your abundant prayers.
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Post by theguvnor on Jan 28, 2024 14:40:16 GMT
I think I echo everyone in saying, look after yourself as well.
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Post by homeschooldad on Jan 28, 2024 15:40:50 GMT
I think I echo everyone in saying, look after yourself as well. I do indeed do that. Finally at about 4 am, I had to go to bed, I figured that if my mother passed during the night (she didn't, she's still with us, sound asleep), that would just have to be within Divine Providence. |
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Post by homeschooldad on Jan 30, 2024 15:07:01 GMT
That is so kind of you. As of this writing, my mother is still with us. The local diocesan TLM priest (he offers both forms) called me yesterday and we had a very nice visit, talked about a half-hour. It was a wide-ranging conversation and he gave me "the skinny" about the status of the TLM in our diocese, it sounds like all is well, our bishop is okay with the TLM. We discussed my mother's having received Extreme Unction two months ago (from him) and how her salvation is basically assured. I explained this to her last night, not sure how much she's comprehending at this point. She is on liquid morphine and Ativan to calm her, and is no longer able to take in food, and only minimal amounts of water. He is all set to come to the cemetery and administer the committal rites when that time comes (can't be Friday due to Candlemas).
Her nurse is on her way here, hospice is sending someone daily at this point, and if my mother lives until tomorrow, her caregiver, whom she dearly loves, is coming for a half-day to tend to her and keep her company.
I'll keep the forum posted.
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Post by homeschooldad on Jan 31, 2024 4:03:40 GMT
Good evening all,
My mother passed away peacefully in her sleep about a half-hour ago. She had a holy and easy death without any suffering. I shall be thankful for all eternity that she died reconciled to the Church.
Thanks to everyone for all your prayers. Please continue to pray for the repose of her soul.
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Post by theguvnor on Jan 31, 2024 9:18:09 GMT
O God of spirits and of all flesh, Who hast trampled down death and overthrown the Devil, and given life to Thy world, do Thou, the same Lord, give rest to the souls of Thy departed servants in a place of brightness, a place of refreshment, a place of repose, where all sickness, sighing, and sorrow have fled away. Pardon every transgression which they have committed, whether by word or deed or thought. For Thou art a good God and lovest mankind; because there is no man who lives yet does not sin, for Thou only art without sin, Thy righteousness is to all eternity, and Thy word is truth.
For Thou are the Resurrection, the Life, and the Repose of Thy servants who have fallen asleep, O Christ our God, and unto Thee we ascribe glory, together with Thy Father, who is from everlasting, and Thine all-holy, good, and life-creating Spirit, now and ever unto ages of ages. Amen.
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Post by RN69 on Jan 31, 2024 19:15:18 GMT
O Lord, surround the grieving, bring comfort to the family of HSD and emotional healing to all impacted by the loss of their loved one. Amen.
Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
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Post by homeschooldad on Jan 31, 2024 23:25:56 GMT
My mother will be laid to rest on Monday 5 February by our diocesan TLM priest.
Son and I are doing fine. Today was an otherwise normal day, we spent the day out of the house and had our usual Wednesday McDonald's. We are taking a few days' break from homeschool.
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Post by homeschooldad on Feb 3, 2024 17:47:27 GMT
And now I am the one in need of prayer. I’m basically okay, but I have been “running on fumes” the past few days, getting little sleep, having to do a little bit of everything, and I have gotten myself rundown and am having stomach problems (partly due to medication I take, it does this sometimes). I was able finally to get to the TLM last night for Candlemas, but had to leave after about an hour, I’d been out there all evening and it finally “hit me”, I could not stay even for the Canon. So I came home. I was supposed to go to confession (to begin the plenary indulgences) today but I can’t do that either. My goal now is to get some sleep today, and get rested up enough, and my digestion to resolve (lunch was just two slices of buttered toast, I made the butter this morning in my bread machine-cum-butter churn), to be able to get to the TLM tomorrow and my mother’s committal Monday morning.
I’ll be okay, I just have to take the day off.
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Post by homeschooldad on Feb 3, 2024 22:46:39 GMT
I did get some sleep after I wrote this, and I am feeling a bit better. Counter-intuitive as it might seem, dinner tonight is Taco Bell, from the budget “cravings” menu. TB never has that effect on me (but then again it is very, very mild Mexican-inspired food).
It’s all good, the past few days — not grief, not sadness, just the awareness of so much to do in a short time (hence sleep loss, would get up and start “making my list” mentally) and much more business out in the world than I’m used to since I retired — just made their effect known, and I look forward to a peaceful evening at home. Thankfully, with both my father and my mother, I had ample time to know what was coming, and about how and when it would unfold, so I had time to make all arrangements and to be at peace with the inevitable. So much easier than having something happen suddenly, or having your loved one to die in their sleep from an unknown illness. But we have no control over that.
And I’ll say it again, do pre-need, do pre-need, do pre-need. It makes things so much easier, however death comes — my parents were both in good health when my father bought pre-need packages — and, incidentally, we saved a ton of money, cut the price about in half. Our arrangements are very simple and dignified, no bells and whistles, nothing extra, just the basics. That’s how we roll.
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Post by homeschooldad on Feb 4, 2024 14:32:12 GMT
I am feeling much better this morning, got a good night’s sleep and a good breakfast (most important meal of the day), and plan to go to the TLM this afternoon. My mother is being laid to rest tomorrow morning.
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Post by RN69 on Feb 4, 2024 17:01:34 GMT
This may be a stronger pray than is called for in your situation but I really like praying it because being dependant on God for strength can lift us up.
Oh my God, I’m weary from distress and in the depths. Restore me to health, according to Your Will O God, for I am worn out and exhausted. Only You can make me whole again, Lord Jesus. And yet, my heart is confident in You. Even now, no matter what, I will waken the dawn with my songs of praise. Lord, Your unfailing love is as high as the heavens, and Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Thank You for lifting me up when I am down and setting me on solid ground. Amen.
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Post by katy777 on Feb 5, 2024 18:25:14 GMT
I am sorry for your loss homeschooldad praying for your mom, and for you and family during this difficult time. |
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