Post by stjosephprayforus on Apr 2, 2021 18:11:58 GMT
My family doesn't really have any Catholic friends. We had one family who are practicing Catholics and very involved at the local parish, who we used to be friends with. I recently had a falling out with my friend and we haven't hung out in a long while, though we have recently begun talking again. My wife doesn't particularly like this former friend of mine, as he and I are too similar in a lot of ways and our friendship has been one of bringing out the worst in each other. Like a bad relationship we'd have "break ups" and get back together repeatedly over the last few years. Unfortunately we haven't been good company for one another, spiritually speaking. So I doubt either of us is all that interested in being friends again. Drama aside, they were the only practicing Catholics we know. With our baby on the way, we need to think of Godparents. This is where the problem arises.
My sister-in-law feels cheated and it has caused minor family drama that we did not select them to be Godparents for our first two children (even though they selected my Brother-in-laws siblings to be Godparents to their first two children). But she is really pushing my wife to let them be Godparents. They are even "practicing" the faith, insofar that they go to Mass semi-regularly on Sundays now. But he isn't confirmed and they don't go to confession or receive Holy Communion (or have any real desire to). Further, she is very open about using IUD's and going on the pill so they can continue having "marital relations" without fear of having a baby. They see nothing wrong with this, and get angry when we point out Catholic teaching about the immorality of artificial contraception (even if we do so in a very non judgmental way). My sister in law is also very upset with my wife and I, that I won't get a vasectomy and/or my wife won't get her tubes tied. This child will be our 3rd c-section, and most doctors tell women to stop having children after 3, since there are increased health risks beyond the 3rd pregnancy. We have openly and directly refused both of these as sins. She became very upset and stormed out of the house (since they are planning on doing that soon themselves).
The long and short of it is this. They are not interested in practicing the Catholic faith. They are not interested in raising their children in the faith. Their kids are going to a Catholic school and will receive formation through the Church, which is great. But they do absolutely nothing at home. My brother-in-law doesn't want the kids going to the school and makes his wife pay for their education out of her income (they keep their incomes separate from one another). He would rather do nothing at all and then let the children choose when they are adults, what religion they want to belong to, if any. He feels like it's indoctrinating to raise kids in a church and not letting them think for themselves.
Having read all that, I'm sure you can sympathize with why I am so strongly against having these family members be Godparents. We take the role of Godparents seriously. If something happened to my wife and I, I know for a fact we cannot count on them to raise our children in the faith. I've no doubt that they would take care of our kids material needs, being family and all. But they just don't value the faith or have any desire to engage it at a deeper level. And this is troublesome to me and a deciding factor for me not wanting them as Godparents. But my wife is big on family unity and doesn't want to be the cause of any drama within the family unit, so she is pushing me to allowing them to be Godparents. How should I go about this?
My sister-in-law feels cheated and it has caused minor family drama that we did not select them to be Godparents for our first two children (even though they selected my Brother-in-laws siblings to be Godparents to their first two children). But she is really pushing my wife to let them be Godparents. They are even "practicing" the faith, insofar that they go to Mass semi-regularly on Sundays now. But he isn't confirmed and they don't go to confession or receive Holy Communion (or have any real desire to). Further, she is very open about using IUD's and going on the pill so they can continue having "marital relations" without fear of having a baby. They see nothing wrong with this, and get angry when we point out Catholic teaching about the immorality of artificial contraception (even if we do so in a very non judgmental way). My sister in law is also very upset with my wife and I, that I won't get a vasectomy and/or my wife won't get her tubes tied. This child will be our 3rd c-section, and most doctors tell women to stop having children after 3, since there are increased health risks beyond the 3rd pregnancy. We have openly and directly refused both of these as sins. She became very upset and stormed out of the house (since they are planning on doing that soon themselves).
The long and short of it is this. They are not interested in practicing the Catholic faith. They are not interested in raising their children in the faith. Their kids are going to a Catholic school and will receive formation through the Church, which is great. But they do absolutely nothing at home. My brother-in-law doesn't want the kids going to the school and makes his wife pay for their education out of her income (they keep their incomes separate from one another). He would rather do nothing at all and then let the children choose when they are adults, what religion they want to belong to, if any. He feels like it's indoctrinating to raise kids in a church and not letting them think for themselves.
Having read all that, I'm sure you can sympathize with why I am so strongly against having these family members be Godparents. We take the role of Godparents seriously. If something happened to my wife and I, I know for a fact we cannot count on them to raise our children in the faith. I've no doubt that they would take care of our kids material needs, being family and all. But they just don't value the faith or have any desire to engage it at a deeper level. And this is troublesome to me and a deciding factor for me not wanting them as Godparents. But my wife is big on family unity and doesn't want to be the cause of any drama within the family unit, so she is pushing me to allowing them to be Godparents. How should I go about this?
