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Post by AgnusDei on May 30, 2021 0:47:44 GMT
Independent study and church attendance for three years, some RCIA. My profession of faith, first communion and reception into the church is possibly happening on June 13. (Was already baptized and did not need the full RCIA experience.)
I would be the last person this priest would receive into the church before he retires. He was wanting to do this for me before he left. (His last official day is June 30th)
I believe my problem centers around, “believing my sins and issues are greater than God’s forgiveness”.
During this entire time, I have not made the sign of the cross on myself. Reason being: How is it even possible that me, knowing all about my life, could even have the possibility of “blessing” anything? Forgot to add: Also have never stepped one foot to the same level where the altar sits in sanctuary. Priest asked me to hand him something from a side table, I told him, “I should not even be touching that.” He said, “It’s alright, go ahead.” Thankfully another person heard and did the task.
Also the issue with communion is that I am worried about somehow “receiving unworthy” therefore inviting damnation on myself. I have thought about this coming moment for two years, and looked toward it with anticipation. Now, I have some fear.
The profession of faith itself is not an issue for me. There are a few things taught that I will struggle with.
My decision is this: Somehow suck-it-up and proceed, and hope/pray that I am not screwing the whole thing up. Filling any other blanks as I go as the continued learning experience.
or
Decline, start over with another priest, and due to my work situation most likely never become Catholic.
Thus is pretty much do it now, or walk away.
The fact that I’m thinking this seriously hard about it could mean that I have answered my own question, and should be received. Possibly I “Need” to be received.
What say the MASSes? (Had to put one joke in a totally otherwise serious post)
Dominus vobiscum.
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Post by Beryllos on May 30, 2021 1:43:48 GMT
Do it now!
Try to get over your feelings of unworthiness. Every time before receiving Holy Communion, I say, you will say, we all say, "Lord, I am not worthy." It's true, we all sin and we can't make ourselves holy by our own power. We are entirely dependent on God's grace, and so we continue the prayer with love and humility, "but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."
In the Mass, there are several other prayers by which we may become well-disposed to receive Communion. At various points, we confess our sinfulness, express our contrition, and ask for God's mercy and for forgiveness of sins. In the Eucharistic Prayer, the priest joins his prayer and ours to the whole Church, including the saints in heaven. That's a powerful prayer! The whole Mass prepares us to receive the Body of Christ.
As for the making the Sign of the Cross, you are able to bless yourself because of the Holy Spirit who dwells in you ever since your Baptism. So you are not blessing yourself by your own power. You are doing it with the aid of the Holy Spirit, with gifts from the Father, through Jesus Christ. Once again, humble yourself and accept God's grace and blessing.
I will pray for you. (Like you, I too can only do this with the aid of the Holy Spirit.) May the Lord assist and guide you always toward great faith, hope, and love.
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Post by AgnusDei on May 30, 2021 3:03:48 GMT
We just stumble along through life hoping we’re getting it right. There are times I feel like a little cartoon character that is falling, yet just keeping enough balance to not topple all the way over. LOL
“Me” not actually doing the blessing, but Christ “using my hand to bless me” makes sense.
From the beginning, no use of holy water either. I figured, “Not Catholic, keep yer fingers outta there.” (Even before this covid mess)
Besides, if I couldn’t bless myself, I was certainly NOT going to use the holy water as well.
I plan to attend mass tomorrow morning. I am a bit concerned that after, during our visit, he might mention doing it then. I kinda hope he’s going to be busy. I’ll go, and whatever happens, happens.
Miserere nobis
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Post by Beryllos on May 30, 2021 4:01:36 GMT
I plan to attend mass tomorrow morning. I am a bit concerned that after, during our visit, he might mention doing it then. I kinda hope he’s going to be busy. I’ll go, and whatever happens, happens. Aw, come on! Take charge. If he doesn't mention it, then you mention it. It's going to be great. |
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Post by katy777 on May 30, 2021 15:29:34 GMT
I'm sure the aposles thought the same thing when travelling with Christ. But then realized all good things come from Him as well as feeling worthy.
Prayers for you to 🕊️ open your heart to the Holy Spirit..
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Post by pianistclare on May 30, 2021 16:48:50 GMT
Scruples will kill your soul. Be at peace. Accept what the Lord offers you: FULL communion with HIM. God bless you.
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Post by StellaMaris on May 30, 2021 16:50:47 GMT
I believe my problem centers around, “believing my sins and issues are greater than God’s forgiveness”. During this entire time, I have not made the sign of the cross on myself. Reason being: How is it even possible that me, knowing all about my life, could even have the possibility of “blessing” anything? Forgot to add: Also have never stepped one foot to the same level where the altar sits in sanctuary. Priest asked me to hand him something from a side table, I told him, “I should not even be touching that.” He said, “It’s alright, go ahead.” Thankfully another person heard and did the task. Also the issue with communion is that I am worried about somehow “receiving unworthy” therefore inviting damnation on myself. I have thought about this coming moment for two years, and looked toward it with anticipation. Now, I have some fear. What you are really in need of is awareness of Gods 'divine mercy' revealed most profoundly to us by St Faustina. From the Divine Mercy Diary... “'Oh how much I am hurt by a soul’s distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils believe in My Justice, but do not glorify My Goodness. My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy.'” (No. 300)Jesus says to Faustina that God's mercy is 'inconceivable' and 'unimaginable'. But there is the truth. There is nothing that can't be forgiven and purified by simply accepting Gods mercy. Hoping and praying for your release into that divine mercy. |
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Post by RN69 on May 30, 2021 17:02:39 GMT
No one is worthy of God's Love by their own merits. We have been made worthy through the blood of Jesus Christ. Trust in His mercy and turn away from Satan's suggestion to reject God's gift of salvation. I'll be praying for you. May you take strength in the following excerpt I found.
The following has been taken from an article in Today's Catholic April 2, 2013 on doubt and faith.
[Faith is ultimately a gift from the Lord, so we must pray for that gift. We can pray simply: “Lord, increase my faith” or, “Lord, help me to overcome my doubt.” I am convinced that the light of faith will always break through when we sincerely ask for that light. The important thing is to never give up. We all go through moments of darkness in our life of faith.
There may be many dark nights in our life of faith. Even Mother Teresa experienced such dark nights. But we must not lose confidence that God is always in the midst of our life, even if we do not feel His presence sometimes. This is true and mature faith, believing when not seeing nor feeling. We must not succumb to the temptation to lose faith, to lose trust in God’s closeness. To be steadfast in faith, especially during dark times of trial, is a way to holiness. We must fight the temptation of the Evil One to lose faith. This is his ultimate attack on believers. In these situations, we must keep on praying and cry out to God, convinced that He is close, even if he seems silent.]
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Post by pianistclare on May 31, 2021 19:01:57 GMT
Agnus Dei:
Ask your priest to counsel you.You need much more than your RCIA instructors are giving you. I hope you find peace and the realization that the Lord is calling you.
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Post by ralfy on Jun 2, 2021 1:35:58 GMT
I read that several Catholic saints experienced similar, if not worse.
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Post by RN69 on Jun 2, 2021 5:25:42 GMT
AgnusDei Continuing to pray for you and your intentions. 🙏🙏🙏 LORD CALM MY FEARS Lord, thank you that you are with me right now. Your love surpasses all fear. I give you the anxiety I feel. I surrender all my worries to you. Clear my mind; Calm my heart; Still my Spirit; Relax my being, that, I may always glorify you in everything I write, speak and do. Amen.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2021 6:56:50 GMT
None of us will ever be worthy of God's precious Body and Blood. We are not worthy of His salvation and friendship. What we "are" worthy of, is damnation. We all sin and fall short in sight of God. It is nothing short of miraculous that God continues to forgive us time and time and time again. Don't let Satan bog you down. He is the one putting those thoughts and feelings in your head now. Think about what you are saying in your post. You are considering backing out of coming fully into a sacramental life with Christ, out of feeling unworthy! That is not coming from God, I can promise you that.
I had doubts in the days leading up to my Baptism/Confirmation/First Holy Communion. I struggled (and still struggle) with habitual sin and found myself confessing it, being absolved, receiving Holy Communion and within a day (sometimes later that very day), I'd be back in a state of mortal sin. I know all about that doubt and the despair it leads to.
This is the key point I want to stick in your mind: God's mercy is greater than your sins. There is nothing you can do in this life that is unforgiveable. So long as you are breathing, God is extending His mercy and redemption to you. Take it. Take it as many times as you have to and ask for Him to give you the strength you need to overcome your sins. Find a good confessor who can be your regular spiritual father. That is VERY helpful. Welcome to the family!
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Post by AgnusDei on Jun 4, 2021 0:48:46 GMT
Decision has been made. (I think).
My first communion, followed immediately after by Confirmation, will take place June 13th during morning Mass. (complicated reason but not important)
I will be the only one standing at the altar with the priest at that time. Yay me. (I believe the priest said this will replace the profession of faith with renewal of baptismal promises by all present. I will receive communion with everyone else as usual. I might have that a bit “off” but you get the idea, and he knows what he’s doing.)
I plan to continue studying and not give up.
I thank all for the prayers, goodwill, and everything else.
Now I’m getting antsy to get it done. Life is fun, huh.
*my real first name* Saint Giles
Dominus vobiscum
P.S. I will check in here if there are any other responses to “like”, and after the experience if I don’t burst into flames during. If that happens, well, no check-in.
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Post by katy777 on Jun 4, 2021 1:02:28 GMT
Decision has been made. (I think). My first communion, followed immediately after by Confirmation, will take place June 13th during morning Mass. (complicated reason but not important) I will be the only one standing at the altar with the priest at that time. Yay me. (I believe the priest said this will replace the profession of faith with renewal of baptismal promises by all present. I will receive communion with everyone else as usual. I might have that a bit “off” but you get the idea, and he knows what he’s doing.) I plan to continue studying and not give up. I thank all for the prayers, goodwill, and everything else. Now I’m getting antsy to get it done. Life is fun, huh. *my real first name* Saint Giles Dominus vobiscum P.S. I will check in here if there are any other responses to “like”, and after the experience if I don’t burst into flames during. If that happens, well, no check-in. I am so very happy for you and will keep you in my daily prayers --i have been praying for you.. God keeps those who are chosen near him, and you have been chosen!! |
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Post by RN69 on Jun 4, 2021 5:50:16 GMT
Praise be to God! I am glad that you were able to resolve this spiritual struggle and find peace with your decision. You will be entering the Catholic Church on the feast day of St. Anthony of Padua and he will make sure you don't get lost (or burst into flames)! Welcome and continued prayers for you especially this one to St. Anthony.
Prayer of Thanksgiving
St. Anthony, God has helped me abundantly through your intercession and has strengthened me in my need. I thank God and I thank you. Accept this prayer and my serious resolve which I now renew, to live always in the love of Jesus and of my neighbor. Continue to shield me by your protection and pray to God for the final grace of one day entering the kingdom of heaven to sing with you the everlasting mercies of God. Amen.
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